15 Jan Modern Gentleman: Flaskmanship
Excerpts from the Modern Gentleman: A Guide to Essential Manners, Savvy & Vice, by Phineas Mollod & Jason Tesauro
The flask provides a gentleman with a dash of home-style comfort, a hint of luxurious élan, portable panache in less than nine ounces. it is essential clandestine equipment, favored during airplane travel, train trips, and motorcarring (for passengers). While the gentleman’s chapeau remains out of current favor, a flask is classic and need not connote whiskey-induced dipsomania . . .unless you carry one in the breast pocket of your three-buttoned, notched-lapel jacket, and swig during Tuesday’s board meeting. Purchase wisely and steer clear of downtown discount tobacco shops or delis that also peddle Graffix bongs and pipes under the glass counter to local teens. Select tastefully: no models redeemed via Camel Cash, molded from lightweight synthetics, or stamped from flimsy alloys by the Franklin Mint, Select silver, pewter, leather-bound glass, or Fine stainless steel styles, with that supple curve for easy portability. A small funnel aids in liquor transfer.
Carry a flask in a breast or coat pocket; if this is not possible, you are under dressed for flasking. The only exception to this rule is the ripped back pocket of your redheaded girlfriend’s faded dungarees. A monogrammed flask: makes an exceptional gift, especially for the clever lady.
Better: Relish these moments to display your guarded suavity. and to season an evening or solitary moment with a delicate sip.
Better Not: Do not unduly flaunt your flash. Certain instances do not warrant open consumption. lest you be perceived unfairly.
Better: Between acts at the theater or when cinema houselights dim.
Better Not: At school plays (though perfect for the Pinewood Derby Winner’s circle.)
Better: Before any special-teams play at a football game.
Better Not: A flask is for intermittent sips, not collegiate gulps.
Better: Anywhere you can see your breath, especially on a blustery platform awaiting a homebound commuter train.
Better Not: Any place where there is already available liquor.
Better: At the track as your horse rounds the home stretch.
Better Not: Inexcusable during a job interview (a callback interview for an internet start-up maybe.)
Better: In the guest bathroom after meeting your lover’s puritanical parents
Better Not: During lamaze class.
Mollod, Phineas, and Jason Tesauro. the Modern Gentleman: A Guide to Essential Manners, Savvy & Vice. Berkeley . Toronto: Ten Speed Press, 2002.